


A lost  Soul

by Vick_Queen



Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Anguish and suffering, Depression, Drugs and other addictions, F/M, Little cute moments, Self-mutilation (mentioned), Suicide target, Various novels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-04-22 07:29:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14303802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vick_Queen/pseuds/Vick_Queen
Summary: Louise was scarred and bruised. Everything had been difficult since the death of her parents. Living a superficial life full of vices. It was destroyed and perished. Until the Gate of Eden came into your life. Louise thought she had gained a new purpose. Really?Note: This story has been translated because I still do not understand much of English.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I'm still not fluent in English. So forgive any mistake. I'm using an automatic translator. I hope you enjoy it as it's my first fanfic on far cry.

Louise never had an easy and simple life. But her parents made things look better. And that's why they were gone, Louise lost her way. Her parents helped her to control herself, since she was always a troubled young woman.

She was a kleptomaniac and nymphomaniac. Her parents paid her treatment with her daughter's hope of improving her addictions. They always gave her everything they could and Louise was always grateful for it.

All three were a normal family and most of the time happy. They were not perfect, but they had a good life. Louise remembers her mother very well. Your mother was a beautiful Brazilian. She had black skin and chocolate eyes. Her dark brown hair was curly. She had a slim, natural body. Louise thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Your father was an American. He was born in Montana in Hope County. He moved there as soon as he graduated and went to New York, where his mother was doing exchange.

His father was a tall, white-skinned man with a faint tan. He was thin and had dark hair like the night sky. His eyes were green and mesmerizing. When he looked deep into Louise's eyes he could easily tell if she was lying or telling the truth. His green eyes seemed to reveal all the truth that people hid. That's why he became a judge and that's why he died.

When her parents were the same even when she was 17, she had to stay with someone. His paternal grandfathers were alive and still in Montana. Then leaving everything behind she moved to the Prescott's large farm.

However, something had changed for the same. Without her parents, she felt she could no longer control herself. She felt dead and empty inside. He indulged in his addictions and dropped the treatments. He gave himself wholeheartedly to all the pleasures of the world.

It was an empty life. Louise felt utterly aimless. Without a direction to follow. So he wasted his life on what was most pleasurable. Sex, drugs, drinks, parties and robberies. That was his life.

Until the Gate of Eden arrived in Hope County and everything changed in his life


	2. Chapter 1 -  Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In today's chapter:
> 
> After to spend the night together. Louise sat alone in lingerie. Drake called the sound in the car and began to play any song that Louise did not know. He started moving his cell phone and was concentrating on it. It was then that Louise opened the glove compartment for some drugs, but what she found was a lot better. She grabbed a bundle of cash and quickly hid it in his purse. She he does not need money, but his vice of stealing was greater than anything.
> 
> She weighed that Drake had not noticed what she did. However, the was completely wrong. She felt when the hold Drake's firm hand or his arm tightly. She looked at Drake's face and saw his look of pure hatred.

"Come on Lou, drink it right away!" Emily said looking at her friend.

Louise He grimaced as alcohol descended, burning his throat. After finishing her glass, she gave Emily a half smile which in turn clapped lively palms. Louise got up from the place, feeling dizzy with the drink.

Her black dress of handles. He rose a little when he left the bank and Louise did not bother to lower. She walked among that cluster of people who were dancing, drinking and catching. He smiled a little when he felt that human warmth, when it began to dance surrounded by faces known and not known.

She started dancing with a blond and athletic man who came up suddenly. Emily was around also dancing to the music alone. What 's more, the man was approaching of it, she felt a great sexual appetite. Imagined if he would take care of that body he would give and be good between four walls.

After dancing enough with the same, the young woman sat with him at a table. although What Louise really wanted to do was skip all those formalities and go for sex.

" My name is Bryan." He introduced himself. Louise gave a false smile to the same, finding it boring, but it would serve to spend the night.

" Louise," he replied.

"Do you always come around here, beautiful?" He sung to her. Repressing her desire to laugh, she He crossed his legs sensuously.

" From time to time, to distract me. And you? "She answered and was trying not to let her lack of interest so obvious.

"That It's the first time I come. "He says excitedly.

"Hmmm , " Louise murmured.

Before Bryan could go on talking. Louise saw behind him a familiar face. She he noticed him from afar with his black hair and a thin beard. It was Drake a guy she Who did she spend a few nights with? .

Louise looked at Bryan, this time not masking his face of boredom and disinterest. She I did not want to talk to anyone. Tonight she wanted to go the heights. Ride on top of a guy and feel the wonderful sensation of penetration. Be behind or ahead.

Thinking about that she left Bryan and walked resolutely to Drake. When the dark-haired man noticed Louise, he smiled mischievously.

(...)

The last time she saw Emily, she told him not to go with Drake. What he was very violent and was involved with bad things. Emily actually tried to put some wits into Louise's head that just laughed and said she knew how to take care of herself.

At that night she was feeling incredible and powerful. At drugs and drinks gave him that feeling. That filled the emptiness he was feeling inside. When Drake pulled her to his car and drove him to the road, where they could stay away from curious onlookers who might disturb his

(...)

After to spend the night together. Louise sat alone in lingerie. Drake called the sound in the car and began to play any song that Louise did not know. He started moving his cell phone and was concentrating on it. It was then that Louise opened the glove compartment for some drugs, but what she found was a lot better. She grabbed a bundle of cash and quickly hid it in his purse. She he does not need money, but his vice of stealing was greater than anything.

She weighed that Drake had not noticed what she did. However, the was completely wrong. She felt when the hold Drake's firm hand or his arm tightly. She looked at Drake's face and saw his look of pure hatred.

" Are you trying to steal me ?!" He practically growled. " Who do you think you are, you whore?" Drake shouted.

" I have problems ..." she said nervously.

" Fuck you and your fucking problems! No one and steals your whore, I'm the fucking guy that brings the drug you use. I'm a blessed drug dealer and I will not let a spoiled bitch rob me! "Drake said with a wicked look and you cringed.

Louise tried to get out of the car quickly, but drunk was caught. Drake stayed Over her and prepared her fist. Louise rarely caught up in life and she closed her eyes. She felt the impact of his fist on her face. She he began to struggle and try to strike Drake's face. But he was stronger. He punched punch behind his face of Louise. She cried herself and shouted an apology, but that only encouraged the same to continue.

When did you see that Louise's face has already been deformed. He left Of car. Stunned, Louise opened the door and tried to run, but Drake was already with her in his hands again. Drake pulled Louise tore her hair and threw her on the floor. He he began kicking his stomach and then his whole body.

Louise was destroyed and thrown on the floor with only her panties and bra. Drake took her money back and then tossed Louise's purse on top of it. After grabbed the dress that was thrown in his car and tore it, then tossed it on top of her.

" That you die run over, filthy bitch" He spat at her.

Louise He heard the engine of the car and saw the car pull away. She feeling humiliated, defeated and sore, closed her eyes and mentally asked God or whoever is up there, help. Then she felt your eyes weigh more and more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still have serious doubts about who Louise will be with, so for now, she will have interest in John and Jacob. I think it's worth telling you about it.  
> I wanted to thank the 2 kudos and comments. I also thank everyone who is following.  
> I'll probably post another chapter today because I have some ready.


	3. Chapter 2 - Saviors or Raptors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In today's chapter we will have:
> 
> "Your devotion makes me angry," Louise says uncontrollably.
> 
> "It hurts me, my love. If you join us, you would not feel lost like that. "She moaned and Louise sneered.
> 
> "I think I broke the rib," Louise commented. "I want to go to a hospital"
> 
> "I do not think you understand, my dear," his aunt says, giving him a smile. "The father will heal you and free you from your sins," she says as she approaches her niece.
> 
> "You're scaring me!" Louise shouted.
> 
> "You will not leave here. Matt is a doctor and he will take care of you right here. Then we will speak with the Father about his atonement. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When the text is italicized, it means that they are memories of the character.

When Louise started to wake up, she felt her whole body ache. She screamed at the strong pain she felt, crying then. At that moment she would like to be dead for the dwarf to have to feel such pain. She felt her ribs ache. His muscles ached. She could still feel the metallic taste of the dried blood in her mouth. When she tried to open her eyes, she managed to open only the right one, because the left one was swollen and sore.  
It was then that Louise noticed that she was on a soft surface. The last thing she remembered was being thrown on the road. Drake had left her there to die, she was sure of that. She tried to get up and find out who the house was. The young girl hoped only that she was not a psychopath. 

As soon as Louise struggled to sit on the bed, she felt a sharp pain in her rib. She cried in pain under her breath and with much effort sat down on the bed. Watching the room he saw was a simple house. The walls did not have vibrant colors but they were of a lifeless beige. Louise always liked strong colors and beige was horrible for the same. There were few things in the room. A dresser, A mute nightstand with a watch on top. There was also a lamp and the curtains were the same color as the wall. The bed was a twin and a symbol known to Louise was on the wall. 

She had already seen and tried to seek in her memory where she saw the same. It was then that the memories flooded her. 

(...)

_Louise was about nineteen in her memory. It had been a year since she returned to Hope County. She lived with her paternal grandfathers William and Sarah Prescott. There on the farm also lived his aunt Lana and her cousin Lucian._

__

__

_His aunt had been coming for some time with a church Louise had never heard of. His aunt was very devoted to them. She said she would be cleansed of her sin. Louise did not belong to any religion. Not that she was disbelieving. She accepted that there might be a God, but that she was a disgrace and heartless. He took his parents the same and allowed such pain in her. She simply hated him. He hated God and all these blind people with his faith in him._

__

__

_When Lana saw how much her niece was missing, she tried to take it to a sermon. Louise's first reaction was to knock her foot down and deny it, but her aunt got her to hell with it and in the end she gave in._

__

__

_As they passed the entrance, Louise saw something that caught her eye. A plaque written Gates of Eden. His aunt pulled her arm and Louise kept looking around until she saw a flag with a symbol she had never seen._

 

(...)

Louise glanced at the now recognizing symbol. She rolled her eyes. So many people to rescue it and were just religious fanatic. For Louise, everyone who had faith in God was fanatic and completely insane. How to have Faith in someone who can take everything away from you with a snap, that's what Louise always asked herself.

She was awakened from her reveries by steps followed by voices in the hallway. The girl ran and picked up the lamp as a defense weapon. She saw the door being opened and ready for anything. However, she only saw her Aunt Lana.

"Auntie ..." she murmured.

 

His aunt had left the Prescott farm to move to the Eden Gate complex about six months ago. When she left, she cut off any relationship with our family and the rest of the world.

"Louise, my sweet. What happened to you? "She asked looking at me with affection. She tried to hold his hand, but Louise did not move.

"Why am I here ?!" Louise questioned.

"Matt found you fainted in the middle of the road. He recognized you even though his face was almost disfigured by bruises. He brings you to me and I've been taking care of you ever since. "His aunt answered.

 

"I want to go to the Hospital, now!" The girl shouted. Louise did not want to stay in that complex full of alienated people. She hated the members of this cult and her devotion to God. I did not want to stay another second.

 

"Honey, you've been through a lot of difficulties and you know it's time to accept the blessing the Father has for you. He will cleanse your sins and you will know the way to happiness. "His aunt said with a glint in the look that almost made the girl vomit.

 

"Your devotion makes me angry," Louise says uncontrollably.

 

"It hurts me, my love. If you join us, you would not feel lost like that. "She moaned and Louise sneered.

"I think I broke the rib," Louise commented. "I want to go to a hospital"

"I do not think you understand, my dear," his aunt says, giving him a smile. "The father will heal you and free you from your sins," she says as she approaches her niece.

"You're scaring me!" Louise shouted.

 

"You will not leave here. Matt is a doctor and he will take care of you right here. Then we will speak with the Father about his atonement. "

"To hell with you all," Louise snapped. "My grandfathers will look for me and when they know what they're doing, they're going to make you and those fucking fuckers fuck you"

Lana approached the young woman and quickly applied an injection of Blessing on Louise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who are following and leaving your kudos and comments


	4. Chapter 3 - Extremely Malicious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Notes: Hello everyone! I hope you like this chapter. And before you ask me, I do not believe all the Edenists are perfect by weighing that. I've created Matt, who will be a character in history. And yes Louise is extremely malicious.

_In the dream, Louise is in a beautiful field of white flowers. Small white butterflies flew around him. Louise sat on the green grass and a white rabbit with red-eyed eyes came toward her. She smiled and started to play with him. She felt something different inside her. Maybe the infamous happiness._

_Not that kind of false happiness the girl felt during her sexual escapades or simply drinking and drugging. It was a happiness, a joy, a fill that seemed almost real. But deep down she felt it was not real. The only people who made her feel that happy are dead. This was not genuine happiness, it was not real, and deep down she knew it. But that did not stop him from enjoying it._

_Looking around, to that beautiful place and feeling something close to happiness, Louise let herself go._

 

_She was no longer in her underwear or wounded. She wore a beautiful white dress that was a little round and with thin straps. Its length is just above the knee. Her hair was loose in the wind. His whole body felt much lighter. Louise whirled and laughed with delight at the sight of a horse. She set the rabbit aside and ran toward the white horse with reins and gold saddles. She rode on it and began to ride toward the golden horizon she saw._

 

_As she rode, she felt a soft breeze hit her cheek. The girl could swear she heard the wind whisper, "Wake up, sweetheart." It was so soft it felt more like the kiss of good night his mother used to give him._

 

 

(...)

 

Louise woke up that morning, still feeling her body ache as hell. She began to think about the dream she had because of whether she knew what her aunt had injected her into. Well, at least it was a good dream and it helped her to relax a bit.

Louise got up to a mirror that was put there that morning. When she saw herself she had an overwhelming desire to cry. All her beautiful face was destroyed. Her vain side abhorred the marks, bruises and bruises she had acquired. It's all Drake's bastard fault. Louise would take revenge on this, you can bet she will.

 

There was still trouble with his Aunt Lana. Louise did not want to join anything, but her aunt seemed to be willing to _"save her soul"_ and all that idiocy.

As the days passed, Louise knew she was in trouble. Your grandparents as soon as they locate her will send her to a clinic far from the county. She knew they were fed up with her and looked for any reason to send her away. Louise was also sure that they would want to screw her aunt somehow and deep down she did not want that.

 

At Louise's conception, Lana was a good person, but her fault was to be too religious for Louise's taste. When Louise's parents died, Lana was a great console. Lana was a beautiful woman who never had a daughter, and because of that fact, she took care of Louise as if she were his. However, over time Lana really wanted to take the place of Louise's late mother. Louise did not like it said, no one could match her mother, but she stirred to let Lana think the other way around. Deep down she wanted Lana to continue with her, but when she was entering that group called the Gate of Eden and became a fervent nun, Louise became completely distant.

 

(...)

 

The days that followed were always with the same routine. Louise would wake up, eat, take a shower, and put on something clean. Matt came to visit her and take care of her and they talked for a while. Then she would be trapped in the bedroom and alone, having only a copy of the Father's Bible with a form of entertainment. She was bored and sad. She missed her little shit. He missed parties, drinks, petty thefts, narcotics, and sex. Even after what happened to her, because of this life, she wanted to go back to it. It was all she had after all.

 

One morning, Louise, facing the mirror, noticed that her bruises and bruises were improving a lot. She was busy assessing her condition, when she heard knocks on the door and without any encouragement she sent the person inside.

 

Then her aunt opened the door and came in followed by Matt carrying a box with a hair dryer and stuff. Her aunt was wearing a dress and shoes. Louise looked at the two suspiciously. She looked again at the dress and the color and the shade reminded her of the dress she wore in her dream. That she had days ago.

 

 

Very suspicious Louise looked at her aunt for explanations. His aunt smiled at her, seemingly happy.

 

"It is time to meet the Father and hear his word." Your aunt says.

 

"I'm going to talk for the last time, Auntie, I do not join any religion, I do not care about that, I'm almost an atheist!" Louise says without patience.

 

"My sweet, just watch a sermon from the Father. That's all I ask of you!" Lana says annoyed.

 

"I will do what I want, but if I do not like it, I will not stay here, let alone follow this ridiculous church!" Louise says cool. "We have a deal?"

 

With a defeated sigh, Lana nodded. "Yes, we have an agreement." She answered and Louise smiled in satisfaction. Obviously she would not want to stay here.

 

 

After her aunt left, Louise went to the bathroom to take her shower. Then he made his higienes and dried his hair with the dryer and then made curls in it. She let them loose and they fell like cascades on her back. She watched his dark brown hair fondly.

 

  She began some beautification rituals to try to stay socially presentable. His aunt knew her well enough to know that she would never leave without makeup, especially after being beaten. She did a makeup to try to hide the bruises and bruises on her black skin.

 Then she wore the white dress, twisting her nose a little. She liked the reds better. Contundo the dress was perfect in it, even giving an air of purity in it. Everything she did not have. Finally he slipped on his sandals and slipped the cord his mother had presented to him shortly before his death. She a heart written: Little Izzy. Izzy was a nickname that his mother gave him derived from his name. There was a photo of her baby and her parents.

 

Louise was glad Drake had not taken her necklace off. That was one of the things she cherished.

 

(...)

 

Once in the church of Joseph Seed, the famous Father, Louise was totally dispersed and distracted playing with the cord. She was doing it on purpose, because she did not want to pay attention to that whole litany.

His aunt elbowed her, and Louise snorted, looking forward. When she did this she might notice something she had not noticed before. Behind the Father were three other people. A brown man with a beard and gorgeous blue eyes. A light-haired woman in a light flowery dress. And last and perhaps most interesting, a redheaded man who appeared to be older than the others. He was so masculine that just looking at the same, Louise felt her panties get wet.

 

That was the right kind of man she liked. Louise bit her lip trying to control her thoughts and the effect they had on her body. Damn it of Libertine and without shame, she thought.

 

And at that moment the young woman knew she had a new obsession. Louise loved men. She loved to feel them inside her. She preferred men older than her. I liked the more muscular and interesting. And that guy met all the requirements to be invited to go to bed with her.

 

 "Who's the redhead?" Louise whispered to Matt.

"Jacob Seed, one of the heralds." Matt answered in a low voice.

"Um ..." she whispered interestedly.

 

They were both at the back of the church and began to talk in whispers.

\- You can forget! Fornication is prohibited. Matt says and he rolls his eyes.

 

"I am not even from the Gate of Eden. This rule does not apply to me." She shrugged.

 

"But apply to him." Matt snapped.

 

 

"Matt, I doubt anybody would fuck or even hide." Louise says.

 

\- Well sometimes I fuck around. - He agreed.

 

 

"Both of you." Louise's aunt scolded.

 

 

The two of them stayed quiet and paid attention to the service again. However, Louise did not take her mind off how good at sex, Jacob Seed could be.


	5. Chapter 4 - A Reason to Live

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!
> 
> A little warning, before you start. I will try my best to add dialgals present in the game, in my story. But, not always, because although young, my memory is rubbish. A real rubbish.
> 
> And also today's chapter will be a bit heavy, containing some tense situations related to vilolence and mention of almost suicide.
> 
> I apologize if this disturbs someone.
> 
> Have a good reading.

Louise gave a weary sigh, when at last the sermon was over. Louise saw that the church door was open. His aunt was going to talk to Father and Matt was distracted talking to some people. The young woman mentally pondered and began to wonder if it was really worth staying, just to get closer to this Jacob. Then her mind wondered what her mother would do if she were alive. Her mother had an incredible beacon and always detected problems and Louise had inherited it all the same.

 She knew that religious groups generated problems and also hated any kind of fanaticism. Louise had heard stories about the Gate of Eden. Not very pleasant stories for her. Her mother would not like her to get involved in that sort of thing.

 

Swallowing and ignoring any agreement with Lana, she walked among the people. Louise mixed in among the people. She heard Matt's voice calling her name and pressed her stride. She looked back only to despair as she saw Matt coming up to her and then felt her body bump into something hard. Looking forward, she almost fainted. Of all the people who could be there to block his way was Jacob Seed. Ignoring the sudden excitement he felt so close to her. She tried to deflect and pass over the left side, but Jacob's strong arm prevented her.

 

"Going somewhere?" He asked and his voice sent shivers down the girl.

 

Louise definitely liked Jacob and was attracted to him, but something inside her told her to stay away from him. But, Louise always walked towards danger and that would not change now.

 

"I was going home," Louise replied, trying to remain calm.

 

"Lana has told us about you and told us she's a slutty girl." Jacob took his arm and looked at him seriously.

 

He took her close to his aunt again who was with the rest of the Seed. Louise then wanted to laugh. If they thought they would change their beliefs and their way of seeing the world and things are roundly deceived. In his head there was no room for religions. If these people knew what her plans are for the future.

 

"You think you can save people, that's cute. But deep down they know it's not true. "She said helplessly. This attracted Jacob's attention.

 

"Why do you believe that? "He asked.

 

"I do not want salvation," Louise said looking the same. "I got used to being lost and I do not want to be found."

 

 

 

He looked like he was going to say something else, but he stopped when he realized they had arrived. His aunt Lana was smiling next to Joseph. He looked at you intensely and opened his arms as if to embrace it. Louise did not know how to react and was frozen in her place, something in him made her nervous. Something about him disturbed the girl.

 

   "You must be Louise," he said gently taking her hand. "Lana's niece, your aunt has spoken a lot about you and that you are willing to join our community"

 

"I told her I might come in," Louise said quickly. "I do not believe in these damn salvation, but I'm here to be convinced."

 

"She also said that you have a great weight on your shoulders. That I was lost and now I can see it with my own eyes. "Louise felt some of her inner defenses begin to falter.

 

 

"You're hurt and lost. And I can see all the pain that's keeping you from seeing the truth. "Joseph continued.

 

"If you're going to play the psychologist with me, I suggest it's something private, I do not want to talk about my life openly. "Louise says and Joseph nods.

 

  He makes a sign and all who were still in the church left leaving them alone. He led Louise to the wooden bench. She sat down and stared at the dress as Joseph sat down beside her.

 

"You may not realize it, but the light within you is intense. Your soul is pure, you just need to find that purity again. "

 

"Joseph, I will not call you Father." It was the first thing she said. "Me, pure? You do not know my incredible reputation in Hope County. I'm as dirty as a prostitute. "

 

"You're just lost. I can see that things have not always been this way for you. Do you remember when you came to the county with your parents for a visit? At that time I was already here and I saw the cheerful girl you were. With a pure and immaculate soul. "Joseph says and Louise remembers automatically.

 

"It was on my grandfather's wedding anniversary," she said, smiling. "I was happy at the time, which I can not be anymore." Louise's face changed again to a bitter expression.

"What were your parents like?" Joseph asked.

 

Louise shifted uncomfortably on the bench and looked at Joseph. "Should not you try and push me a little salvation? What's the relevance of that question? "She really did not want to start talking about her parents and falling down in front of him.

 

"Just answer the question, Louise." He replied calmly.

 

Louise swallowed. "They were the best parents I could have. I wanted them to have been neither good parents so to be easier to overcome, but they were great. They took good care of me and knew how to deal with me. They knew how to deal with the vices and manias I acquired over time. They were my best friends. And if it was because of me. "Louise could feel anger if she took it, she felt angry at herself.

 

"Why do you think it's to blame?" He questioned the girl again.

 

 

"It was a robbery. The thief came into our country house. He took everything he had in the house. But, he was sadistic and wanted something beyond that. He wanted to rape me and my mother, but my father would not allow it and so they fought. The thief shot my father right in the middle of his forehead. Then he would come up to me and I remember crying. "She felt the tears streaming down her face. "So, my mother told him to do whatever he wanted with her first. The thief then went to her and raped her in front of me. I used this time to get off the rope discreetly. When I let go, my mother who cried and thrashed, told me to go. "Louise looked at Joseph. " And I went. I ran to the neighbor who called the police. But, it was too late. When the cops arrived, the thief was gone and my mother was found dead "

 

 

"I'm sorry," Joseph says extending his arms to it.

 

 

Louise did not think much of what she was doing and hugged the man. "I fled like a coward. Should have tried to kill him. It was all my fault, my parents died to protect me, "she said, still hugging.

 

"Louise, do not blame yourself for it. You were not guilty of that. Do not judge yourself as a coward, for I can see within you a warrior soul willing to face anything. You just have to find your way again. "

 

"Why is the world so terrible this way? I usually say that I hate God, but he is not to blame for that. Deep down I know it was my fault, but it's easier to blame him for everything that went wrong in my life. "

 

"The world is lost, Louise. You can see it in the news and in the newspapers. The Collapse is coming and soon this world that knows and caused you so much pain will cease to exist. I am offering you an opportunity to save yourself. To save your soul. And after it's cleansed, we'll walk through the gates together in our Eden, "Joseph said.

 

 

Louise did not disagree or mock. A part of her began to understand what Joseph was talking about. Joseph kept talking to her for hours. The girl did not even see the hours passing. More and more he was trapped by Joseph's words.

 

At one point he took one of his bibles and preached a little of the word to Louise who heard. Then he gave the girl away and said it was his. Louise took it and set it gently on her lap.

 

"Thank you." She thanked him. "I wanted to tell you something."

 

 

" Then say."

 

"I'm eighteen. I spent all this years having a dirty life. I am no longer satisfied with this kind of life, and I honestly feel exhausted. I planned to kill myself on my nineteenth birthday. And if I can not get along right here at the Gate of Eden, then I'll do this. I feel like there's nothing left for me. "Louise confesses. "Then give me a reason to live"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My God!  
> 10 kudos, 2 comments and 1 favorite!  
> Thank you guys, I thought at the beginning that no one would read this story.  
> And I'm very happy to see that there are people who enjoy it.  
> Many kisses and hugs to all <3


	6. Chapter 5 - They Will not Take You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I would like to thank the comments, kudos, favorites and inscriptions.
> 
> I sincerely felt very happy with the feedback I received from this story. :)
> 
> And I'm sorry for any mistake.
> 
> Have a good reading <3

Embracing her legs, Louise stared at the floor feeling the flood of tears fall on her face. She sniffed her nose that started wanting to get out of it and she did not want to pass that shame. She wiped her nose with a handkerchief they brought and continued to stare at the floor. Joseph was sitting beside him and his hand resting on the back of it. It had been a long, painful conversation. Louise opened up with Joseph in a way she had never done before and knew that in the future she would have to do the same with John when she went to confess her sins.

 Louise, despite feeling Joseph's hand trying to give her comfort, she continued to weep and did not look at it. She hated being so fragile in the eyes and someone else. She hated people to see how weak and broken she was.

 

"The bruises all over his body were made by whom?" Joseph asked.

 

Louise did not answer at first, for she was still crying. She took a deep breath and tried to control herself. Stopping crying and finally being able to speak, she responded to it. "A man I slept with while," she replied. "I deserved ..."

 

"Why do you say that?" Joseph asks, and before she could, someone entered the church.

 

 

It was this Jacob. Louise shrugged again and looked at the floor. She felt very ashamed of the chaotic state she was in. Her makeup blurred and her eyes red and swollen from crying.

 

"Brother, I'm a little busy right now," he commented, looking down at the shrunken girl.

 

"John needs to talk to you about something important." Jacob answered and Joseph let out a sigh.

 

"All right," Joseph finally said. "My daughter, I will not be long in coming back." He told Louise that he nodded and went quiet again. "Jacob stay here with her"

 

When Joseph said that, Louise swallowed. To be alone with the man who dominated his imaginary in not pure ways. She heard the church doors closing. She felt the look of it burning on it. She tried to ignore it, but she could not do it for long. Louise turned to face Jacob.

 

"Your aunt told me about you. He spoke of you to all of us. "Jacob says walking around her, as if he were a predator surrounding prey. "She told us about the sweet Louise who lost her way. Poor Louise who lost her parents and who afterwards gave herself up to her vices. "Louise looked at Jacob curiously to see what she was going to say.

 

"My fame precedes me," Louise commented wryly.

 

"I see how weak you are now. I see in your eyes how much pain, mourning, self-hate, all this is weakening you to the point where you are destroyed. And you instead of fighting it, fighting your fear and being strong, you'd rather stay weak. "Jacob says in a critical tone.

 

"I'm weak," Louise admitted. "I've been weak all my life. If only I'd been strong and fought that day, "she commented to herself, but Jacob heard.

 

"But, I see you can be strong. "The older Seed said.

 

"How?" She asked.

 

"I can show you how," Jacob said.

 

  Louise stopped shrinking, and faced Jacob again. She gave him a forced smile. "I'm still seeing if I'll really stay here. It's not easy for me to stay here. Not after having blamed and hated God for everything bad that happened to me. "

 

 

"It was also difficult for me at the beginning and it's still a little bit," Jacob confessed, and that surprised Louise.

 

 

She looked at the surprised redheaded man, but said nothing about it. The young woman stared at the church doors eager for Joseph's return. Louise had not imagined that Jacob was so difficult to talk and so intense. In fact she was beginning to think that all the Seeds were intense.

 

She then decided to try to change the course of the subject to something else. "Is it true that you create wolves?" She asked.

 

 

Louise has heard rumors about even raising wolves in the Whitetail Mountains. She always liked wolves. She did not remember when she was younger and she and her friends kept watching movies and documentaries about wolves and werewolves. He also remembered once visiting a zoo that by chance owned a wolf. That was the first time she'd seen a wolf, but she still craved the day she could touch one.

 

"Yes. One day you will see them, "Jacob said quietly again.

 

 

Louise smiled and Jacob could see that he was genuine and genuine. He also noticed that she looked so much prettier. They were both in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.

 

Suddenly the doors burst open. Louise turned and panic swept over her body as she recognized two of her grandmother's farm employees. She swallowed as she rose from the bench. Jacob stood up in surprise.

 

"What's going on here?" He questioned the two men.

 

"The girl should come with us. Our bosses plan to internage her in a clinic. "One of them responded earnestly.

 

Louise knew that sooner or later this would happen. Her grandmothers were angry and tired of her. They did not do this to improve it, but to get rid of it, since they considered it a burden. Not knowing if Jacob would judge her as weak or not, Louise hid behind him and held his arm.

 

"Please do not let them take me!" She asked in a weak voice. "Please, I can not go." She was basically begging Jacob.

 

Jacob looked at the two men. "I do not know if the girl is over the age, and she can choose between going and staying."

 

 

"The girl in question was declared incapable four months ago," the other man replied.

 

"Jacob, that's true, but I do not want to go with them," Louise said, grabbing Jacob's muscular arm as if it were his lifeline.

 

Jacob turned to Louise and looked into the depths of his brown eyes. "I will not let them take you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my story.  
> I hope you enjoyed.  
> Lots of kisses and see you next time! <3


	7. Chapter 6 - PTSD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!  
>   I make a short chapter today because I have to write for other stories in my native language.  
>    
> Before you start reading, I'd like to say that I've already decided on the main couple. I did not take John Seed / Original Female Character because I still have plans for Louise and John, but that will be a little further.
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you enjoy it and forgive me for any mistake.
> 
> Good reading! :)

Louise was panicking. She did not see how Jacob could stop them from doing anything. Her grandfather and her grandmother had gone to court to declare her incapable, so that getting her hospitalized would be easier. The only way out of that is to resort to violence, since the two officials would not leave without Louise.

 

"I suggest you get out of here," Jacob said and he could feel the tension in the air.

 

Louise was clinging to him, frightened. Normally he would be irritated by the clear demonstration of weakness and fear, but he did not criticize her. He concentrated on getting rid of the two men in front of him.

 

 

"We just go out with the girl!" The man with blond hair said. He had a determined expression on his face and he looked ready to face Jacob. Already the same dark fellow was trembling with fear with the predatory look of Jacob on top of them.

 

"Charles ..." The man called the other blonde. "He's Jacob Seed, from the fucking cult, we should get more people."

 

 

"We can handle this Garret!" The blonde replied without calling the new information.

 

"Those damn peggies are out there! Ready to follow the orders of this guy, it was already a hell to enter here and something tells me that we will not leave.

 

Jacob pushed Louise away from him and started toward the men. Without Jacob's body to lean and hide, the young woman felt very exposed. She was also curious enough to know what Jacob will do to the men.

 

"Pay attention, I'll tell you how things will happen. In a perfect world, you two would return to the Prescott's ranch, with their tails between their legs, humiliated and defeated. They told their bosses that their granddaughter is with the Gate of Eden now and is safe. Then they never came back, unless they wanted to join us. "Jacob said and Louise became more and more anxious to know where he wanted to go with that conversation. "But as we were not in a perfect world. You will try to face me and obviously you will be killed. The Prescott got the message and did not see the girl behind. And at the end of the day their bodies will be the ration for my wolves. "Jacob said everything very calmly.

 

Louise was shocked by the threat and calm that Jacob had when she told the men. She swallowed and felt her hands tremble with nervousness. As if Jacob could foresee the future, this Charles approached the same, ready to face Jacob.

 

Louise and Garrett were both frozen and watching the scene unfold. Charles prepared to punch Jacob, who pulled a machete that neither Louise nor Garret could tell from where he had taken it. Jacob was extremely agile and deflected from the punch. And at the same time Louise blinked, he had passed the blade through Charles's neck. The knife slid down Garret's neck with extreme ease. Louise screamed in shock as the blood splashed, messing with Jacob. Garret looked at his friend who fell to the floor with a thud. Charles's eyes widened and he tried to say something, but everything that came out of his mouth and neck was blood.

 

 

Louise felt weak and fell to the floor. She thought she might faint, but it did not. The situation itself was chaotic and all that blood of Charles. Louise remembered how her father also agonized in the same way. He remembered the day his father died and all the blood that had sneezed on his clothes. The tears fell silently and Louise still on the ground shrank into a fetal position.

 

Jacob was too busy now with Garret to notice the state in which Louise was.

 

Louise closed her eyes tightly, remembering that night.

 

"Take anything you want, just leave us alone!" Louise whispered the phrase that her father was speaking to the psychopath thief. She began to repeat the sentence without stopping as if it were a mantra. She ignored everything that was happening around her.

 

When Jacob finished getting rid of Garret. He turned with blood on his clothes to the girl and frowned when he saw her in that situation. Jacob crouched down and pulled Louise into his arms, saying that she needed to stay calm.

 

"There's someone out there dad, I heard." She said and Jacob was confused.

 

"Louise!" He shouted.

 

 

"Dad did not open the door, I saw someone out there, call the police," she said still lost in the memories. She'd said those same phrases to her father that night.

 

 

It was not long before Jacob was freaking out. He could recognize it in his eyes. He hugged her and said,

 

"Are you feeling here? I'm here with you and you're safe now, "he said into her ear. "Can you hear my voice? Do you understand me? It's me Jacob. "He was trying to keep calm, while Louise shuddered and spoke sentences that to them are disconnected. "I'm here with you, Louise. You do not have to be afraid."

 

Jacob felt Louise calming down. Her body stopped shaking and she shut up. His eyes searched for Jacob's. When their eyes met, Louise looked away, her face burning with embarrassment.

 

"You have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. "Jacob stated.

 

"I'm sorry, for you having to witness all this. "Louise said feeling totally embarrassed.

 

 

Before Jacob spoke, the church doors opened again revealing Joseph. He saw the killing around him and frowned.

 

"What happened here?" Joseph questioned them both.

 

Louise said nothing, just leaned against Jacob's eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will enjoy the holiday of the work day here in Brazil, to update A lost soul.
> 
> I hope you have enjoyed this chapter :)


	8. Chapter 7 - She's Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " I'm gonna swing from the chandelier
> 
> From the chandelier
> 
> I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist
> 
> Like it doesn't exist
> 
> I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night
> 
> Feel my tears as they dry
> 
> I'm gonna swing from the chandelier
> 
> From the chandelier
> 
>  
> 
> And I'm holding on for dear life
> 
> Won't look down, won't open my eyes
> 
> Keep my glass full until morning light
> 
> 'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight
> 
> Help me, I'm holding on for dear life
> 
> Won't look down won't open my eyes
> 
> Keep my glass full until morning light
> 
> 'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight
> 
> On for tonight" Chandelier, Sia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!  
>   I wrote the part of Louise's listening to music Chandelier  
> I probably will have stayed a week without posting, because I stayed in Recovery in high school, as I did badly on some school tests.
> 
> Have a good reading!

**In the past:**

 

_Louise was tired. Tired of all those people dressed in black. She was tired of those people speaking phrases such as: "My condolences" or "I'm sorry for your loss." They were silly sentences that people say just for education. The truth is, anyone who says these things most often has no idea what the pain is doing to you. For pain and loss are things that we feel individually. No one can fully understand the pain of each other._

 

_Pain and loss are things that occur in people differently. At least that's what Louise believed in. The bodies of his parents were being swallowed up by the earth. They were trapped in wooden coffins and would stay there until the insects ate them._

 

_Louise wanted to have cremated both, but her grandparents wanted them in a ditch on the floor. Her grandmother and grandfather were conservative people, and knowing she would have to live with them made her nauseous. Not that Louise hated them, but she also never had much of them._

 

_When the funeral was over, Louise thanked God. She locked herself in her new room in her new home. Hope County seemed to be beautiful, but she would miss New York City. There had always been her home and she would miss her friends and her old life._

 

 

_It was her third week in Hope County that Louise began to sink more and more. First she met Emily Parker. Emily was a lively and entertaining girl. When the two of them met, Louise was very depressed and felt empty. Having a person like Emily in your life could have two meanings. It could mean a good thing or a bad thing. To his unhappiness was bad. Emily, a girl so up-to-date, a girl as free as a bird, taught Louise that every time she felt bad, all she had to do was drink some. And that's how it started._

 

 

_Every time she felt sad and empty, she went to the nearest bar. She would just stop drinking until all her blood turned to alcohol. She went on partying with Emily and eventually met several interesting guys. And that was how she'd let her sex drive dominate her again._

 

_And when Emily was not looking, Louise stole some things from her purse. And that way she quit her vice by stealing to dominate her again. And finally a friend once introduced him to Ecstasy. That way Louise gave herself drugs._

 

 

_Trying to mask the pain and sadness she felt, Louise let herself be carried away by the impurities of the world. And at the end of every day, before bed, she cried. Louise knew she was heading for an early death, maybe deep down she wanted it to happen._

 

_For even if it was momentary, whenever Louise was drunk and stoned, she would forget all her troubles and all her pain. But at what price?_

 

 

 

 

**In the present again:**

 

 

Louise was trying to drink a glass of water, but her hand shook with difficulty. Joseph, who was now sitting next to her, took his hands and helped the girl. After drinking in the water and feeling calmer, Louise let out a weary sigh, thinking how fucked up her mind was.

 

"Once again, I'm sorry," she said weakly. "If I was not here no one would have to have died," Louise mourned.

"It's all right now, child." Joseph says taking the glass from his hand, gently.

 Jacob was still present and Louise looked the same. She still felt quite ashamed of what had happened, but she struggled and smiled at it. "Thank you so much for not allowing them to take me." Louise thanked him and Jacob just nodded and left the church.

 

 

Alone again, Joseph went back to talking to Louise.

 

"We will baptize you and then you will confess your sins to John," Joseph says, "and then you will have to complete your journey and then you will be one of us."

 

 

"Do I have to confess my sins?" Louise asked. " All of them?"

 

 

"Yes," Joseph replied.

 

 

"Right," Louise murmured. "Before leaving you asked me why I think I deserved the spanking. I'll tell you why. "She stared at the embarrassed floor. "I tried to steal his money"

 

 

"That's a wrong thing, but it does not justify what he did to you," Joseph said quietly. "Louise you may not believe this now, but you are a very special person and will contribute a lot to this project," he said and Louise looked at his face.

 

 

"How are you so sure?" Louise asked curiously.

 

 

"At the right time you will know" He stated and Louise was dissatisfied with the answer, but said nothing.

 

(...)

 

 

"Jacob need to talk to you alone," he told his brother.

 

 

" It's ok. "He says entering the office of the same.

 

"So what's the subject?" Jacob asked as he sat down in the chair.

 

Joseph walked around the table and sat down in front of his brother. He looked serious and Jacob noticed that.

 

"It's About Louise Prescott"

 

 


	9. Chapter 8 - Abstinence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> Staff sorry for the delay to update, more I was busy with several things and no extra time to write.  
> I changed some things about this story and added a lot of new things that would not happen.
> 
> Thanks to all who are still reading :)
> 
> Have a good reading!

Louise looked into her own hands. She did not feel ready to speak to anyone else. She was very emotionally charged for one day and all she wanted was to lie down on a warm, cozy bed. Trying not to look at the slaughter around her, Louise walked out of the church when the two brothers Seed left her alone. Their words stayed in the poor woman's head all the time. Jacob could leave the same fort and Joseph offer his salvation and a new prison.

 

She would be lying if she denied that she was still afraid of what would happen if she remained in the service. The young woman chose to just stop worrying about it for an hour and try to rest.

 

 

When she left, Louise saw that her aunt Lana and Matt were waiting. Fortunately they were no longer with any members of the Seed family, which made Louise relieved, as she did not want to have to deal with more of them asking questions and gossiping about her life.

 

 

"Can we go home?" Louise asked to draw the attention of the two in question.

 

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" We saw those men from the farm of my parents come in. "Lana seemed to be worried and Louise liked to know that someone still cared about her.

 

 

"It will not be today that my grandfather and my grandmother got rid of me. Jacob has taken care of them, they will no longer be a problem." Louise answered and Lana sighed. "Well what did you decide, dear?"

 

 

For a moment Louise had not understood the sudden question, but then she realized what her aunt meant.

 

 

"I'm going to give this place a try and I'll see if I like it. But if I do not like it here, I'll go away." She answered and yawned. "I'm so tired! Can we go home, please?" Louise asked anxiously to lay her head on some pillow.

 

 

"Of course, my sweet." Her aunt finally agreed.

 

 

  

(...)

 

 

It was late at night, when Louise was turning in her bed. Memories were tormenting her so Louise wanted to have amnesia. She finally awoke from her restless sleep and sat on the bed. Lying on the headboard, she looked at the dull ceiling of her aunt's house.

 

And so she allowed herself to travel through her memories. Some good things she still had, for example, she remembered when she dated a police officer. It was good, my god it was very good for the same. While she could not maintain this relationship Staci wanted to help him, he wanted to take the girl out of this immature life that she always took, but Louise never wanted it and even though she had loved him, she sent him to the end of her life.

 

 

When she lost her boyfriend, she became sad and tried to fill it in the only way she knew, meaning drinking until she turned her blood into alcohol or drawing until she could not take it anymore or using drugs until she was extremely stoned.

 

 

 She always believed that she never deserved a man like Staci and that he did not deserve a woman as broken as she. This was also one of the reasons for the end of the two. Louise said to herself that it was better this way.

 

 

"Come on, you need to sleep and stop thinking about the past," Louise murmured to herself and lay down again.

 

 

 

  The young woman could not resist the urge to cry and as always she cried until she fell asleep, as she always did. She cried for everything she missed and Staci could be included on that list.

 

(...)

 

 

The next day, Louise woke up feeling awful at last the weight of abstinence was falling on her. She knew she could never use her drugs again if she decided to stay with the Eden Gate, but she was stronger than she. The Bliss was a type of drug, she knew and so she had not suffered from abstinence before.

 

Now all I wanted was a dose of ecstasy or whatever. She needed to control herself, she had to control herself. Louise rose quickly, opening the window and jumping. She felt her feet hurt and some of her bruises opened again.

 

She wandered aimlessly around the compound trying to find a way to get to her drug. In her head she would return before anyone could notice. What she did not know was that she was being watched from a distance.

 

 

 

                     


End file.
